Unveiling the Unspoken: The Reality of Abuse in Religious Communities
My Podcast Interview with Brazilian Abuse Survivor and Advocate Norma Braga Venâncio
I had the chance to meet a Twitter friend IRL in Rio a couple of weeks ago. I was in Rio taking my Swiftie on a 16th birthday trip to experience Brazil with the side bonus of seeing Taylor Swift perform at Estadio Nilton where we lucked out having Sunday night tickets after the fiasco of Friday and Saturday (which many of you may have read about as it made global news).
I was thrilled to get to meet my friend Norma Braga Venâncio for a sushi lunch in Rio for an instant connection where we both felt like lifelong friends. I was privileged to meet her again later at her home where I was introduced to her outstanding and intelligent husband as well as her two cats as we shared a meal and deep conversation at her home in Copacabana while my teenager chilled in their comfy, woven hammock. Not only did the whole experience take me back to my upbringing in South America with many fond memories of meals around tables of warm South American families, countless relaxing moments in hammocks of my own in Venezuela, and deep spiritual conversations about theology and its implications on oppression from government and religious powers, but it also was a reminder that the sacred community of abuse survivors and advocates is a place where God dwells in a special way that crosses cultural and linguistic boundaries. Love is communicated in any language as they say, and I am so honored to call Norma a friend.
As many abuse advocates, survivors, and women in particular know, speaking out to warn and prevent abuse comes at an expensive cost. That cost is most often paid by the loss of community and relationships that once held deep meaning both relationally and spiritually. The irony that speaking out to protect those very relationships means having to give them up potentially forever is not lost on Norma, or me.
For those of us with the lived experience of speaking out and losing relationships, we just know. We once held those relationships dear. We know because keeping those relationships meant keeping quiet. We know that in a primal way in our bodies, our souls, our bones. It is an ache that is hard to describe that those of us who care so deeply about our relationships, who forge hard for human flourishing, who care most about this mission are paying the most devastating of costs- losing the very friendships we are fighting for. So, when two whistleblowers, advocates, and survivors establish new friendships with someone else who knows this pain firsthand, words aren’t needed. Our very parasympathetic nervous systems communicate deep, unspoken truths to each other over sushi in a Japanese restaurant in Rio, over a dinner table in a home in Copacabana, and through a podcast studio recording on the A World of Difference podcast.
If you have experienced any type of abuse in a religious environment, whether emotional, sexual, spiritual, psychological, verbal, physical, financial, or any other type of abuse, I offer this latest episode of A World of Difference podcast to you, along with my new friend Norma. When we bring our differences together around the table, we can make a difference together.
Please ground yourself, open your mind, listen, share this impactful episode, and be blessed by my new friend Norma Braga Venâncio in Rio.